"That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen."
"Nothing was ever in tune. People just blindly grabbed at whatever there was: communism, health foods, zen, surfing, ballet, hypnotism, group encounters, orgies, biking, herbs, Catholicism, weight-lifting, travel, withdrawal, vegetarianism, India, painting, writing, sculpting, composing, conducting, backpacking, yoga, copulating, gambling, drinking, hanging around, frozen yogurt, Beethoven, Back, Buddha, Christ, TM, H, carrot juice, suicide, handmade suits, jet travel, New York City, and then it all evaporated and fell apart. People had to find things to do while waiting to die. I guess it was nice to have a choice."
Friday, April 30
Sunday, April 18
two philosophies dylan told me about last night:
the salsa thermometer of life.
this philosophy suggests that we rate the events in our life not in terms of bad to good, but mild to spicy. spicy events would be those that are more memorable, varied, new and exciting. mild events would be just that, a little more mild, mundane, possibly pleasurable but not so memorable. dylan said that if you don't like spicy salsa then you don't even really like salsa at all, you just like tomatoes. i might dispute this, but the larger point remains valid. if we put our immediate comfort ahead of varied experiences we aren't even really living at all but just eating a bushel of tomatoes.
the non-stop party wagon.
this philosophy was portrayed prominently in the movie "yes man" with jim carrey and zooey deschanel in which he says "yes" to everything, no matter what it is. this philosophy could be called the "yes" or "yes man" philosophy, but personally i much prefer "the non-stop party wagon". one thing we decided about this one was that you should spend a lot of time thinking about your decision to get on "the wagon" before you do it, because once your on it all that decision making goes right out the window. the wagon window.
Monday, April 12
Would you like a coke and wine?
Would you like that, Argentine?
Would you like it on a beach, would you like it with a peach?
Would you like it with a steak? Would you like it in a lake?
Would you like it in a club? Would you like it in a tub?
Would you like it on a bus would you like it on a train or in the sun or in the rain?
Would you like that coke and wine?
Do you think that would taste fine?
This just can’t taste right, coke and wine,
This just can’t taste right Argentine.
Would it taste good in the heat? Would it taste good with that meat?
Would it taste good all night long or with a dance or with a thong?
Would it taste good with your brunch? Or with a snack or as your lunch?
Would it taste good as a diet? Would it taste good if I try it?
Oh you silly Argentine
I do love this coke and wine
I love it on beach, with a steak
With a peach and in the lake,
I do love it in the clubs and on a bus and in the tub.
In the rain and on a train and in the sun and when in pain.
Love it in the heat with the meat all night long all night strong
In a thong and with a song
I do love this coke and wine, I agree is tastes quite fine.
Would you like that, Argentine?
Would you like it on a beach, would you like it with a peach?
Would you like it with a steak? Would you like it in a lake?
Would you like it in a club? Would you like it in a tub?
Would you like it on a bus would you like it on a train or in the sun or in the rain?
Would you like that coke and wine?
Do you think that would taste fine?
This just can’t taste right, coke and wine,
This just can’t taste right Argentine.
Would it taste good in the heat? Would it taste good with that meat?
Would it taste good all night long or with a dance or with a thong?
Would it taste good with your brunch? Or with a snack or as your lunch?
Would it taste good as a diet? Would it taste good if I try it?
Oh you silly Argentine
I do love this coke and wine
I love it on beach, with a steak
With a peach and in the lake,
I do love it in the clubs and on a bus and in the tub.
In the rain and on a train and in the sun and when in pain.
Love it in the heat with the meat all night long all night strong
In a thong and with a song
I do love this coke and wine, I agree is tastes quite fine.
quick math.
If I take a shower every night, and only remember half, does that make me an alcoholic? If I say I can drink two drinks but I drink four, where does that leave me? Or, say I plan on four but only have three. Am I better because of it? If I routinely drink one drink a day but move up to two, does that fall under the category of moving towards disaster, and if I routinely drink two but never more, is that better or worse than a habit of one and the occasional five? Three plus three always equals six, but is six better when it is divided by three and comes out to two? If there is two one night and four the next which way takes the cake? Two plus two plus two, one plus five plus none, three plus three, four plus one plus one, six plus zero and then all over again. Whoever said math was the place for answers, fuck them. The more that I drink and the more that i think the more that I’m sure that math never adds up.
If I take a shower every night, and only remember half, does that make me an alcoholic? If I say I can drink two drinks but I drink four, where does that leave me? Or, say I plan on four but only have three. Am I better because of it? If I routinely drink one drink a day but move up to two, does that fall under the category of moving towards disaster, and if I routinely drink two but never more, is that better or worse than a habit of one and the occasional five? Three plus three always equals six, but is six better when it is divided by three and comes out to two? If there is two one night and four the next which way takes the cake? Two plus two plus two, one plus five plus none, three plus three, four plus one plus one, six plus zero and then all over again. Whoever said math was the place for answers, fuck them. The more that I drink and the more that i think the more that I’m sure that math never adds up.
Friday, April 9
REMY MARTIN
under the catagory of drinks and what we do when we drink them
remember when you and michael drank that whole bottle at the end of the party and he passed out in the drivers seat of his car in front of gaga's house and woke up with his shirt off, and you passed out on the couch, as usual, right after you talked to dad for an hour about the experience we would have if we all ate mushrooms together in the woods?
that was a good night. the plane ride the next morning was not so good.
remember when you and michael drank that whole bottle at the end of the party and he passed out in the drivers seat of his car in front of gaga's house and woke up with his shirt off, and you passed out on the couch, as usual, right after you talked to dad for an hour about the experience we would have if we all ate mushrooms together in the woods?
that was a good night. the plane ride the next morning was not so good.
gimlets
short poems are nice because they are a way of giving life to all sorts of observations, images and stupid ideas that don't belong anywhere. writing them is like the literary equivalent of head-to-tail eating. don't waste anything. even the offal.
1.
a glass room
has advantages
and disadvantages
2.
follow the sirens
to one of 6 hospitals
in my neighborhood
3.
they talk in Korean
except for the words
"nasal spray"
4.
the laundry on the floor
is not the laundry
just a few of my shirts
5.
smoking hookah
hannah pretends
that she is a dragon
6.
the infinite
is serious
the temporary
is funny
7.
there are too many tall buildings
between me
and my friends
8.
a very strong man
patrols the neighborhood
9.
with peanuts
and some time
i walk to Union Square
REMEDIES
1 alcoholism treatment using grapes
the restricted diet of grapes for about a month is a vital home remedy for alcoholism. as this fruit contains a very pure form of alcohol it acts like a healthy alternative to alcohol. the ideal process is to take three meals a day of fresh grapes every five hours
2 alcoholism treatment using dates
dates are beneficial in treating alcoholism. rub 3-4 dates in half a glass of water and have the alcoholic drink this two times a day for a period of about a month.
3 anxiety treatment using bathing
when you feel an anxiety attack coming on, you can have a cold shower or soak in a warm bath, whichever works for you.
4 anxiety treatment using water or tea
when you start to feel stressed out, drink a whole glass of water, or else sit back and sip a cup of tea.
5 anxiety treatment using alcohol
when you start to feel anxious, drink a whole glass of alcohol very quickly, then continue to sip for a few hours until you feel no more anxiety, or anything else for that matter.
the restricted diet of grapes for about a month is a vital home remedy for alcoholism. as this fruit contains a very pure form of alcohol it acts like a healthy alternative to alcohol. the ideal process is to take three meals a day of fresh grapes every five hours
2 alcoholism treatment using dates
dates are beneficial in treating alcoholism. rub 3-4 dates in half a glass of water and have the alcoholic drink this two times a day for a period of about a month.
3 anxiety treatment using bathing
when you feel an anxiety attack coming on, you can have a cold shower or soak in a warm bath, whichever works for you.
4 anxiety treatment using water or tea
when you start to feel stressed out, drink a whole glass of water, or else sit back and sip a cup of tea.
5 anxiety treatment using alcohol
when you start to feel anxious, drink a whole glass of alcohol very quickly, then continue to sip for a few hours until you feel no more anxiety, or anything else for that matter.
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