REMEDY

bourbon to cure sore red bumps on the tongue

after tim switched toothpastes to a new kind that had aloe in it because it was fifty percent off at the wedge he began to get red sore bumps on his tongue. he called them canker sores for a while, but that's not really what they were. he returned the toothpaste and got a new one, but the bumps didn't go away.

the bumps were quite disabling. he was unable to enjoy a "hot dago" that we were going to split (essentially an italian sausage sandwhich) due to the acidity in the tomato sauce. when he was the first one to try linda's raspberry rhubarb squares, the best rhubarb squares i have ever eaten, he wasn't even able to taste it due to the pain. when i gave him a few kettle cooked barbeque chips he cried out "ahhhh extra crispy barbeque chips!" and said it felt like he was eating glass, and then blamed me for allowing him to eat them. the bumps were showing no signs of going away.

then one night we all went to pizza farm, and devin and lily had brought a bottle of bourbon. tim was poured a glass and when he tried it he noted that it was making his tongue feel better. i assumed it was probably just the numbing effects of alcohol. tim kept drinking the bourbon, glass after glass. he must have had about seven or eight. each time he asked for more he claimed he was doing it for health reasons, like the teen stoner who smokes pot for arthritis. when it was time to leave and we were sorting out rides home, the first decision was that tim certainly wasn't able to drive.

in any case, the next morning he woke up and his tongue was completely healed. i even watched him eat a bowl of pasta with eggplant ragu.

in the blog that i am doing for becky she likes to categorize her posts under LABELS.

one is "INSPIRATION"

i feel this should be labeled as such.

whoever has been questioning american ingenuity due to this economic meltdown clearly hasn't picked up the latest skymall catalog, the unrivaled leader in new shit that we had never even thought about but upon seeing must have, as well as the shit that we thought only existed in movies (i.e. "spy pen" and "video recording sunglasses") and upon seeing have decided should remain the shit that only exists in movies. i guess what i am saying is despite the fact that it may seem a bit outlandish, i am glad there is a place i can buy "the first ever underwater pogo stick". sure, it seems odd. don't we already float in the water? can't we already bounce of the bottom and sides of a pool without a special stick? maybe we can, but then again maybe we can't really. is there more bounce underwater than we knew about? do we really know what we are missing until we buy one? is it the next olympic sport? raven wrote that "the perfect purchase extends us into the future". i think a purchase of the first ever underwater pogo stick could do much more. borrowing from the product description, i dare to believe that it could allow us to "splash effortlessly" and "bound powerfully" all the way to 2011.

with every new hobby, there are a lot of wonderful purchases to be made.
now that i have started thinking about the possibility of fishing, i like to buy those sparkling gummy worms at the super longs drugstore that smell like fruit loops and taste like plastic flavored plastic. there are a million different colors, and although they look like candy and smell like candy, they never get smaller when you suck on them. im still not sure what they are actually for, or what tackle means outside of football, but like i say, there is nothing that beats the thrill of stocking up on goods and getting ready to begin a new activity.

the best of leiris

"This was the period when i spent most of my nights in Montamartre, hanging around nigh clubs like Zelli's and preferring the Negro bars to all the rest. I had new friends with whom I drank and philosophized , for drink, smoke, music, and crowds constituted the mental stimulants we considered most favorable to inspiration. Quite often I got drunk, more convinced than ever of alcohol's value and appreciating, moreover, the bitter sweet flavor of cocktails, the snowy taste of champagne, and the sharp tang of whiskey."

"The girl was not without charm, but lisped and slightly resembled some kind of nocturnal bird because of her way of closing one eye without narrowing or even winking the other. Perhaps for this reason, we called her Owl."

bukowski for you

"That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen."

"Nothing was ever in tune. People just blindly grabbed at whatever there was: communism, health foods, zen, surfing, ballet, hypnotism, group encounters, orgies, biking, herbs, Catholicism, weight-lifting, travel, withdrawal, vegetarianism, India, painting, writing, sculpting, composing, conducting, backpacking, yoga, copulating, gambling, drinking, hanging around, frozen yogurt, Beethoven, Back, Buddha, Christ, TM, H, carrot juice, suicide, handmade suits, jet travel, New York City, and then it all evaporated and fell apart. People had to find things to do while waiting to die. I guess it was nice to have a choice."

two philosophies dylan told me about last night:

the salsa thermometer of life.

this philosophy suggests that we rate the events in our life not in terms of bad to good, but mild to spicy. spicy events would be those that are more memorable, varied, new and exciting. mild events would be just that, a little more mild, mundane, possibly pleasurable but not so memorable. dylan said that if you don't like spicy salsa then you don't even really like salsa at all, you just like tomatoes. i might dispute this, but the larger point remains valid. if we put our immediate comfort ahead of varied experiences we aren't even really living at all but just eating a bushel of tomatoes.

the non-stop party wagon.

this philosophy was portrayed prominently in the movie "yes man" with jim carrey and zooey deschanel in which he says "yes" to everything, no matter what it is. this philosophy could be called the "yes" or "yes man" philosophy, but personally i much prefer "the non-stop party wagon". one thing we decided about this one was that you should spend a lot of time thinking about your decision to get on "the wagon" before you do it, because once your on it all that decision making goes right out the window. the wagon window.